Wednesday, November 28, 2012


I wish to have tears like human do...

Hunted by wolves......

The past can hunt you down like a pack of wolves.
          Everything is calm at first just like the usual day where you throw yourself on the field thinking it is a great day for you where the grass is green and you are among friends. You loose yourself basking in the sun feel like the world is at your feet and nothing can go wrong anymore after years of being cautious and worrying so much but nothing ever happen in all those years and you think you worried too much and its time to let go and live life freely from mistakes of the past. You were young and stupid but now you think you're wiser and everything will be fine. The past will only be the past.... "No harm will come from the past"... you tell yourself every time you're out on the field chanting until you believed that it's true...

          One wolf fright you from across the field and you run but didn't notice the bigger one is near the corner leaps and bite your nape... you try to shake it off and run at the same time suddenly another wolf takes a bite on your leg and drag you to the ground... you try to fight and struggle with all your might until at last you're out off breath... you look up and saw a big jaw with sharp teeth in front of you but now you're calmed and slowly close your eyes and almost willingly stick out your neck waiting for the the sharp teeth on your throat to end the suffering......

Sunday, November 25, 2012


My heart is not as dark it used to be anymore. I remember in the old days I always pay vengence tenfold to my enemies. I used to have the determination in making my enemies suffer worse than me. I used all my energy to inflict the worst suffering to anyone who crossed me. Now, I don't have that kind of enthusiasm anymore. I crept away and cursed my enemy but I don't do anything anymore... I must be an easy target now. There are no rage anymore in my spirit... I'm not that fierced monster that everyone was afraid off anymore.... I lost my flare... 


I... I would ignite the flare one more time. 
I... I would bring fears to their eyes again..
I... I would be the beast from hell raging with fire all over my body and charging madly to all my enemies!!!!


I am no hero
I am no son
I am no father
I am no brother
I am no child
I am no man
I am no fighter
I am no survivor
I am no saint
I am nothing to anyone. I am just me.

I got no looks
I got no strength
I got no wealth
I got no health
I got no spirit
I got no soul
I got no hope
I got no past
I got no future
I got nothing for anyone. I just got me.

and I wish for a lot of things to be a better me but I got no wills to even move from this painful life.

I cry all day and night but I don't move from this spot and I just be me.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Honour among thives...

I remember when I hid from the devil I didn't go back to my village. I was a different man then I was before and cannot bare to return to my root. Always in disguise and  stealing was my only way to live. I met with two other thieves in a castle far from home. All three of us were in the big ball organised by the lord of the land. None of us suspected each other on that night but when the ball was over at midnight we met in the chamber of treasure with knives on each other throats. We decided to co-operate with each other when the guards found us with arrows on our faces. We teamed up after that night and became the infamous Shadowcats of Rivernine State. The peak of our career started when we stole The Book of Shadows from King Philipex of Rivernine. That was how we got the name Shadowcats of Rivernine. The book was supposely to be highly valueble yet we didn't have any buyers for the book instead a very handsome price on our head by the Rivernine State. The book was useless to us and we almost tosed it in the fire as nobody understand the language in the book. We kept the book just because if the trouble it cost us and to our advantage, we finally found away to read the mysterious book. The book was more to alchemy yet there were traces of the dark influence that can't be explain by logic.