Friday, August 03, 2012

White wolf.

*Image was taken from

I only put this picture because I remember one full moon night I saw a white wolf or I thought I saw a wolf near my old house in the middle of the night at my lawn. I wasn't scared and chased it around. it didn't seem scared of me but it looked like it played around with me and let me chased it. It was fun and majestic. The sky was clear that The full moon shone on us. I never touched it but it felt warm. It might be just a dog but I remembered it as a wolf. I don't think there was any wolf in this country. strange things happen around the house but never have I felt unsecured.

The haunted past. Part 1.

I can't spilled the truth unless I start from the beginning of my memory. I was the seventh of eight children of a religious couple living in poverty. I don't feel we were poor as I don't have anyone to compare to when I was younger. My memory only goes to when I was 4 or 5 years old and back then we lived in a house behind a religious worship building. It's a free house for my family as my father worked at the building. We only had one neighbour which the head of the family worked at the same place as my father. They were as poor as we were so no comparison there. I'm not sure if I was very happy back then but I think life was just fine. Being the second youngest made me very close to my parents. I was not like the others. I was fairer and better looking than the others. my younger brother was not as spoiled as I was and he didn't demanded much attention as I was too. Maybe its because that I was a sick child. I had very bad asthma and that might be why my parents were concerned about me than the others. My elder brother the sixth child were jealous of me and always doing something to offend me. My other siblings were not always around. They studied and work elsewhere so I don't really felt connected to them back then. My life evolve around the wooden house with a very large attic. There's like a big space of room at the attic but there was no ladder to the attic and the ceiling was very high that it needed a very long ladder if someone wanted to go up there. I always wondered how to get in the attic but never been there. The house was mysteriously looking that it looked haunted. The house must be very old because under the house there were so many old things that can be hundred years old. I founded old coins under the house with the face of the England queen and some weird looking coins like Japanese coins or something with triangular shapes and coins with hole in the middle. Even though there were bizarre things around the house but nothing dangerous happen there.

*Not really good in drawing. This is supposed to be the house from the side look but its tilt and I can't moved it.

Dream is just a dream...

I dreamt of so many things...but I'm being realistic..... I know that those dreams wont come true... It can't comes true because of my dark past that will hunt me down and destroy everything... I dont stop dreaming because in dreams everything is perfect and that is one thing I never would have in my life... if I cant have in real life then let me enjoy it in a dream... I done terrible things in my life and how I wish I could just erase those chapters and just begin a new one with a clean slate. But life is not like that. Everything connected and nothing would pause time so that I can sit down and plan my route in this rough never ending journey...