Wednesday, November 18, 2015

No motivation

Night after night  I struggle to sleep as my mind keep thinking of all the past sins I've done in my life yet I  was  not remorseful enough to change my routine each waking day. I do the same thing over and over again without gain any worse or better than I've always been.

I hate many people and hold vendetta yet I haven't done anything for revenge.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

wish upon a sleep

Sometimes I wish that I would wake up from sleep with amnesia. I don't remember all my past sins and mistakes. I would be worry free. I could start my life again.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

eaten away by umformidable enemy....

Time could be monstrous and eat you away of your beauty from inside and outside. 

I felt changed after years of abusing myself with load of works, bad habits and my own laziness to exercise. I took a look at old photo and saw a different person than what I am today.
I am changed. 
Changed for the worst.  
Changed in many aspects.
My skin, 
My hair, 
My weight, 
My posture,
My view of life.
My whole mind.
My attitude.
My whole me. Is changed.

I didn't realize how hideous I've become till tonight.

Friday, February 07, 2014

Chapter 1 : The Beginning 2

Born to a simple family I was raised in a small house with many siblings. Three elder sisters and three elder btothers. As the seventh after 6 years from my elder brother, I was pampered by my parents. Everybody had their function in the family. There were tasks that everyone knows and do but not I as the youngest one. The sixth was very jealous of me as I was always the one doing nothing and play all day. He had bad intentions and always find ways to get to me. Once, he asked me to hold a piece of paper up on my head while he trew a dart right on my forehead. He made it like an accident to get away from trouble and I believed that it was unintentional.  Ask me to passed him an old bamboo stick and slitted my thumb, kicked a rattan ball onto my face and I believed those were all  jokes that turned into accidental pain in my end. 

Friday, September 20, 2013

Karma Law

Bad things do happen to bad people eventually.

I don't really believed in the Karma law but now I'm waiting for the bad things to happen to me. In my life I had a few accomplices in many crimes and some of them became friends or sometimes even rival. We don't wish birthday or send greeting cards but when something up and favour needed, we rushed out to help. Mystiq, one of the prominent which in Gorgon Island was one close friend. We been to many battles together. Misfortunate events befallen her and I can do nothing to help her. It sadden me that I can't offer her any help. her eldest son had just pass away and her second son is sick... oh I just can't write anything now... I feel so sad...

Friday, July 19, 2013

no turning back...

I know I'm in the wrong path... I can't turn around because theere are wolves behind me chasing after me... I don't have the pleasure to stop and rest to think of better plan to move on if I wan't to avoid getting bitten by those wolves... my only option is to just move on... if I stumble I might be shred alive... of how I wish those wolves would rest awhile and let me catch my breath...

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Chapter 1. The beginning.

The 7th of 8 children. Born 6 years after my elder brother. I was different from the others. I brought luck to the family. Since I was still in the belly of my mother, good things happen to the family. A day before I was born, an elder relative came to see my father and told him that he dreamt a name for me. I was born premature. Exactly 7 months and 7 days in the womb. Everybody was worried but everything went well almost unbelievable smooth.