eaten away by umformidable enemy....

Time could be monstrous and eat you away of your beauty from inside and outside. 

I felt changed after years of abusing myself with load of works, bad habits and my own laziness to exercise. I took a look at old photo and saw a different person than what I am today.

I am changed. 

Changed for the worst.  

Changed in many aspects.

My skin, 

My hair, 

My weight, 

My posture,

My view of life.

My whole mind.

My attitude.

My whole me. Is changed.

I didn't realize how hideous I've become till tonight.

Chapter 1 : The Beginning 2

Born to a simple family I was raised in a small house with many siblings. Three elder sisters and three elder btothers. As the seventh after 6 years from my elder brother, I was pampered by my parents. Everybody had their function in the family. There were tasks that everyone knows and do but not I as the youngest one. The sixth was very jealous of me as I was always the one doing nothing and play all day. He had bad intentions and always find ways to get to me. Once, he asked me to hold a piece of paper up on my head while he trew a dart right on my forehead. He made it like an accident to get away from trouble and I believed that it was unintentional.  Ask me to passed him an old bamboo stick and slitted my thumb, kicked a rattan ball onto my face and I believed those were all  jokes that turned into accidental pain in my end. 

Karma Law

Bad things do happen to bad people eventually.

I don't really believed in the Karma law but now I'm waiting for the bad things to happen to me. In my life I had a few accomplices in many crimes and some of them became friends or sometimes even rival. We don't wish birthday or send greeting cards but when something up and favour needed, we rushed out to help. Mystiq, one of the prominent which in Gorgon Island was one close friend. We been to many battles together. Misfortunate events befallen her and I can do nothing to help her. It sadden me that I can't offer her any help. her eldest son had just pass away and her second son is sick... oh I just can't write anything now... I feel so sad...

no turning back...

I know I'm in the wrong path... I can't turn around because theere are wolves behind me chasing after me... I don't have the pleasure to stop and rest to think of better plan to move on if I wan't to avoid getting bitten by those wolves... my only option is to just move on... if I stumble I might be shred alive... of how I wish those wolves would rest awhile and let me catch my breath...

Chapter 1. The beginning.

The 7th of 8 children. Born 6 years after my elder brother. I was different from the others. I brought luck to the family. Since I was still in the belly of my mother, good things happen to the family. A day before I was born, an elder relative came to see my father and told him that he dreamt a name for me. I was born premature. Exactly 7 months and 7 days in the womb. Everybody was worried but everything went well almost unbelievable smooth. 

confuse

I tried to be good... I did try to be good for a long time... but I failed and failed and failed... am I destined to do all those bad things... if it is destiny then there should not be sins on me doing all those evil things... I am still confuse on what I am and what I should do... I am too old to be confused... 

fear is my bff...

I was devastated... I couldn't think anything that would make me happy... my life was empty... I started to find new things to fill this hollow heart but there was nothing. All my enemies looked like they weren't worth my hatred... all the people I thought were my friends looked like strangers... I thought of ending my life but in a memorable way... I started a plan... a great plan that could put my name in stories that would be tell from generation to generation... It was like a play... a dramatic end to the demon who terrorised the world with his devious plan... I got excited and carefully followed the plan in every inch... I even thought of things to say before I met my doom... I welcome death... or so I thought I was... but, when I was lying helplessly on the ground with my limbs numbs and my power drained, my eyes could not met the eye of the sword... I thought of all the horror in the afterworld... I thought of the pain it would feel when the sword struck my heart at high speed... of how I would suffer for quite some time before I died... of how I would cough out blood from my mouth... of how fierce the death angel would come and pull out my soul from my body violently without mercy... for once... I admit that I was scared... and that fear saved me... that fear gave me the strength to roll over and get back up on my feet... pull out my last trick, the laughing-banshees, and flew like rocket into the air with my laughed echoed and ringing the bell of torture in the ears of the knights and the people in 100 feets... 

That was the day of how cowardice saved my life... how fear became my ally...