Hollow...

I did another crime. Just a few minutes ago. This time it felt different. There was no pleasure  while doing it and no remorse after. I felt nothing. Hollow.

I need to feel something. I am nothing now. I don't hate and I don't love.

Faith. I need to search for that 'faith' human talks about. I need and want something to believe in. I want to walk in the path my father took.

Agree to disagree

What am I suppose to do when I don't agree with the kingdom I serve?
Should I wage war againts the King or should I hide in the bushes and strike full blow when I have the chance?
I can't rebel just yet, I still have interest in what the kingdom can offer yet in the same time it sicken me to be the ally of all the cruelty to the subject of the kingdom.

Saint

I thought l'm evil but compared to those politician I'm a saint.

Knowledge

Knowlwdge is very important. I always study deeply on something beneficial to me at the time of its usage and I'm proud to say I'm a fast learner too... But that knowledge will only be contained at that particular time when I need it and I'll disregard that knowledge when I'm done with the thing. When I need to use that knowledge again I always forget about it and re-learn it again... Lived too long to remember everything... That's why I made my new resolution to write everything important I did so that I don't need to remember them. My mind would be at peace without all those thing in my mind... Haha

Sleep talk...

I've just notice that most of my siblings, nephews and nieces talk in their sleep... What worry me is that I might not knowing that I talk in my sleep too... I got secrets and this condition worries mem

Tears...

I wish to have tears like human do...

Hunted by wolves......

The past can hunt you down like a pack of wolves.
          Everything is calm at first just like the usual day where you throw yourself on the field thinking it is a great day for you where the grass is green and you are among friends. You loose yourself basking in the sun feel like the world is at your feet and nothing can go wrong anymore after years of being cautious and worrying so much but nothing ever happen in all those years and you think you worried too much and its time to let go and live life freely from mistakes of the past. You were young and stupid but now you think you're wiser and everything will be fine. The past will only be the past.... "No harm will come from the past"... you tell yourself every time you're out on the field chanting until you believed that it's true...

          One wolf fright you from across the field and you run but didn't notice the bigger one is near the corner leaps and bite your nape... you try to shake it off and run at the same time suddenly another wolf takes a bite on your leg and drag you to the ground... you try to fight and struggle with all your might until at last you're out off breath... you look up and saw a big jaw with sharp teeth in front of you but now you're calmed and slowly close your eyes and almost willingly stick out your neck waiting for the the sharp teeth on your throat to end the suffering......